Enough

Text can be found beneath the soundcloud link.

 

I am not enough

As enough can’t be defined

Conceptual infinity

In relation to me

Tempered only by the relativity of you and of “it”

And in your mind

“It” I am not

Not good enough

Not right for you

Not right for this

Not right for this life

Or for this world actually

 

Not enough of an impact is made

When I walk along my pathways

Taking turns, making runs, grinding to halts

Eyes quickly looking at the faults

The wrongs and the pains, the almosts, but not quites

Attempted fights, inevitable frights

Because I – am not enough

Wincing and reticent, I

Always afraid

Because I know before you put it on me

The conceptual infinity in relation to me

 

Though, somewhat stupidly, I want to be

To change

The world actually, but I’ll start with your mind

And making you see

If you just look at me

At all of me – properly

My eyes and their tired whites and darkest of browns

My nose and its genetic breadth and muted bridge

The thickness of my lips, how they move and what they are capable of

My ears the subjects of your lips and what they say

Dripping their toxins into my mind and controlling it

Warping what I see of me

Changing all of that beauty into something hated and ugly

Something wrong in this time

Unaccepted and misunderstood

Judged long before seeing and knowing

Whether or not I am indeed – enough

 

With this burden I stand and I walk along my pathways

With this weight on my back I make turns and make runs, grinding to halts

Meager in presence strong in will

Meager in will, ever-present

I am not enough as this is too much

 

Fight, overcome, fight, overcome, constant struggle

Laugh, find love, make peace, heal the world

Constant struggle

 

Take a look at me then

See all of me properly

See me and tell me

If I’m enough for you in this time in this place on this earth

Tell me you can’t get enough

Tell me I’m too much

Just don’t tell me I’m nothing

Not enough

 

Because enough can’t be defined

Conceptual infinity

In relation to me

Relative to you and to it

 

Now all I’m left with is the want to say “fuck it” and “fuck you”

Let me go

Set me free from the grip of these expectations

Let me float free in the ether

Here and in the everafter

Ingrained in the existence of all of us

What’s gone before and what will be

 

What’s gone before and what will be

 

Generations of strength and resolve

I call for your aid

Lift me up and absolve me from this longing

These pangs

These feelings of want and failure

Let me see

Hold me up and let me see what lies before me

Make me wise and make me strong too

Because I am all of you

And we are great and we are mighty

We are more

We are plenty

 

I am more than enough.

I am more.

I am plenty.

But Enough isn’t enough.

I am not enough…

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