I reckon it’s about time to rebel against the screw-faced success of the ambition coalition

I’m on a mission now

It doesn’t cost you anything to smile once in a while

But that’s probably the issue right there, isn’t it?

There’s no value in it

Likely I’ll never see a tooth cuz I’m a nobody, me

But truthfully everybody is somebody so you should fix your face and do your job, you bloody knob

But that’s not the way that they like to play

In the game of the shady ambition coalition

No it isn’t

“Oh my god, babes, I love your hair!”

No you don’t – you hate it

You told me it looks like a bird’s about to fly over and regurgitate fish guts for the babies it just laid in there

It’s ridiculous hair

Is what I should’ve said, to be fair

Cuz now that she’s heard what he said, unchallenged, he’s in, isn’t he, you see

Foot in the door, nose up in a butt

But you know what? She loves it a lot because she can rinse him too

Next time she drops a giant career poo she needn’t run to the loo

She’s got a handy human arse wipe poised and at the ready

Locked into position, an ambition coalition

I’ll tell you now though

Bottom and bench won’t rest all too comfortably

Because sitting at their side is a curmudgeon like me

And we can see all the way through the murky poo

We’re an elephant army

We’ll not forget and so they will inevitably regret

The shady ways of the backdoor ambition coalition

“I met so and so a few years ago, but I didn’t bother to say hello because he wasn’t somebody then, you know?”

Yeah, I do know, actually

Because I was there too

And just like so and so I didn’t get a chance to talk to you

Funny is that, because at the time I just thought you were twat

And here all these years later, I find out I was right

I rarely ever get it right!

That is funny

And then we get on to the money

You’re happy to get paid to do fuck all

And the less you do the more you want

Because in all the butts you’ve sniffed, the more leverage you whiffed

Now I’m starting to feel a little bit miffed at the injustice of this

So I’d like to recruit for my mission and take down the ambition coalition

Who’s with me?

You? You?

There’s more of us than there are of them, believe me, it’s true

What’s all this you’re saying about high grounds and morals?

They’re resting on false laurels – it’s time to take them down!

To what end?

To justice!

And fairness

To decency in people

Not the misappropriated Tory story of skivers and strivers

Just the calling out of bullshit

That’s the grit of it

Isn’t it?

When the intricacy of decency infiltrates the complexity of the ambition coalition we win

Me and you and our elephant crew out to do what’s right and true

We shouldn’t have to play this shady game if we don’t want to

It’s not the only way

Who at the top would honestly say that the creation of the frenemy entity is conducive to success?

Because it’s not, it’s a mess

It’s twisted and riddled with distrust and opportunism

Paranoid conversations leading to the next defiance alliance

Watching your back because the elephants you climbed over to get ahead are still there standing behind you

Watching you

They know you and what you do

Yet quietly they stand

But you dare not raise a hand to dismiss this silent witness

Because when the elephants speak, when the elephants mobilise

When the elephants stampede

They will indeed destroy you and your ivory tower

But the truth is, they never wanted to you to cower

It was your thirst for power that enabled the creation of the present situation

Now I’m thinking it’s about time for a change, that’s all

This elephant right here has had enough

Now, I can’t speak for rest of my herd, but I will raise my lone tusk and call you out on your bullshit

False claim

Bullshit – here’s what happened

Declaration of untruth

Bullshit – this is how it went down

My identification of your insecurity…

Well, that seems to me to be a crux in this issue

I won’t hand you a tissue cuz I’m not your friend, but I’m not your enemy either

We can work through this thing together,

You can stop that blag, drop the pout and the fake swag

No, no, you don’t need to mount me for assistance in any instance

Let’s try this thing another way, ok

Grab onto my tail and let’s get to work

Lets try this thing the elephant way

And this elephant ain’t playin’ – that’s all I’m really sayin’